Behind These Hazel Eyes
by WobblyJelly
Summary: They used to be a team, Lily and James. They were the ultimate couple, absolutely unbreakable, probably the happiest couple alive- until it all came crashing down. Songfic. R&R! Song is Behind These Hazel eyes by Kelly Clarkson.
1. Behind These's Hazel Eyes

**A/N: This was actually a request from HPHGfanforever (anonymous). Well, not exactly. She requested for a one shot, and I was listening to this song the other day (I heart myself some Kelly Clarkson) when I was thinking... Hazel eyes...James has hazel eyes...**

**And thus, this songfic happened.**

**Hope you guys enjoy it. I'm not exactly sure what kind of time setting this is, but I'll just leave it up to your imagination.**

**Song is Behind These Hazel Eyes by Kelly Clarkson. I haven't written a songfic in so long... and this is only the second one I'm putting on the net...so please excuse me if I screw up.**

**Disclaimer: No, I do not own Harry Potter. Do I look like I own Harry Potter to you? Oh wait, that's right, you can't see me. **

* * *

><p><span>Behind these hazel eyes<span>

**Seems like just yesterday**

**You were a part of me**

**I used to stand so tall**

**I used to be so strong**

They used to be a team, Lily and James. They were the ultimate concrete couple that took six years to build up, with a lot of effort at James's part. To everyone else, they seemed unbreakable, the wedding bells already seemed to be ringing wherever they went, and James couldn't be any happier than he already was.

Until it all came crashing down.

"I'm so sorry, James," she said, looking down.

Tears stung his eyes, watching her hand grasp another, and it wasn't his. Amos Diggory stood by her side, grinning triumphantly and smugly, his eyes spelling out 'I beat you, Potter!' in the most obvious way possible.

His whole body seemed numb. He could feel cold wind brushing against his skin, even though it was only October. The noise of the room soften to an annoying buzzing sound in the background which he ignored easily. His eyes, which were once filled with the laughter that possessed him everyday, seemed to have died, while he watched the two hands that held each other so tight like it was a matter of life and death.

Amos and Lily.

His Lily.

"How long," he managed to choke out. His voiced seemed to have disappeared, gone with the fire and the happiness that used to fill him up. It was as if a robot was speaking for him, as his lips seemed to have a mind of its own.

She couldn't bring herself to meet his eyes. He didn't want her too, anyway. The only things he would see there would be utter betrayal, and he never wanted to face that. "Three weeks," she whispered.

Not even Diggory seemed to be there anymore. It was just him and Lily, standing there, avoiding each other's gaze. James felt like there was a black hole within him, trying to suck him up. He didn't even bother trying to fight it. His entire world was black already, anyway. What difference does it make?

"I wish you two the best, then," he said finally. He didn't want to stay there any longer, knowing it would only further open the already deep wound in his heart. He spun around and walked away, not caring for the calls of Lily, not caring about the jeers of Diggory, not caring about anything anymore.

He used to strut the school with confidence, he used to _own _this place like he was the king, and, after many years, finally gotten the stubborn queen to be at his side. He ruled the school, his world, together with his three partners in crime. Everyone worshiped him, bowed to him, fell to their knees at the sight of him.

Now where was he?

Where was he?

**Your arms around me tight**

**Everything, it felt so right**

**Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong**

_"We lost the game! I can't believe we lost the bloody game!" he burst into the common room, his face flushed with fury, his fist shaking in anger. "I told Padfoot to stop slacking off but _nooo_... he has to keep going out with his hundred and million girlfriends..."_

_"Shh, it's alright, James," said Lily, walking over to calm her boyfriend down. "You only lost by thirty points."_

_"ONLY LOST BY THIRTY POINTS? We could have won by fifty if Davies had kept his head in the game!" he yelled out, scaring Lily half to death. She knew that if there was anything that could get James riled up quick, it was Quidditch. So it was advisable to keep a safe distance away from him during his period of 'Quidditch-ranting' as Lily called it in her head. _

_She put her arms around him and pulled him close to her. "There will be other games, don't worry," she soothed. "Right now you just have to focus on your game against Slytherin and you'll win the cup for sure."_

_He sighed and relaxed slightly at her touch. "It's just that- we could have-"_

_"What has past, has past," said Lily. "As captain, you now have to make sure you don't make the same mistakes in the next round. There is no point staying in the past, but it is looking into the future that is important. Come on, James, aren't you always telling me that?"_

_She made him look into her eyes, and she gave him the biggest smile he ever had the pleasure of returning. He kissed her passionately for a moment before saying, "Thanks, Lils. I know I can always count on you."_

James Potter snorted into the silence. Yeah, count on her, my arse.

He needed space to think, some time to clear his mind of the muddle it has formed. He watched as two frogs hopped merrily into the forest, unaware of the turmoil that was going on in his head. He spat on the ground bitterly. What wouldn't he give to be just like them...

The Forbidden Forest has always been a place that he could come to, where he knew no one would find him. Well, except his mates, but they knew better than to come look for him now. He was subconsciously aware of the sun setting beneath the horizon, but that was probably the least important thing on his mind right now.

Another flash of Lily holding hands with -god forbid- Amos Diggory had James growling into the silence again. Where was the love that used to bind them so tightly that if one of them were to let go, the other would surely die? What happened to all the hugs and kisses that they shared, the "I love you"s that they exchanged? Did they mean anything anymore? Did they mean anything in the first place?

**Now I can't breathe**

**No, I can't sleep**

**I'm barely hanging on**

James felt like he was hanging up a thread, that just one _snip_ with the scissors would send him pummeling towards his death. He tried so desperately to cling on to it, grasping, reaching, fighting.

But was there really any point? Did he really want to see what was displayed for him when he reached safety? All he needed was to let go, to stop his fingers from curling around that thin piece of string that couldn't hold him for much longer, and he would be gone, gone to a place where everything is so much easier, gone from this place, gone from the pain.

"Mate." James didn't even need to look to know that his best friend, Sirius Black, was standing behind him. In fact, he didn't even bother stopping his walk. He knew that Sirius could catch up, anyways. Or maybe he'll get lucky and he'll leave him alone, but the possibility of that happening are about as big as a Hippogriff becoming his mother.

"Prongs, I know you're mad." James didn't bother listening. Everything he said was irrelevant, stupid, pointless. He just continued to walk.

"Fine, don't care about me. But I know you're listening in there, so I'm going to just spit it out anyway. Do you really think that walking around here and sulking like a big baby is going to help you? You really think she'll come back to you if you just stand there like this?"

James stopped in his tracks, but he still didn't turn around. He closed his eyes, trying not to let his mate see how much hurt she has done to him, how many times she has opened up a wound, close it, and then open it up again. It was as if she was throwing knives at him, and he didn't bother on doing anything to stop it.

"Because it _won't_." Sirius's voice came in harsh, echoing in the silence. "Standing here won't help you with anything, Prongs. It might bring you peace for a few seconds, but what are you going to do? Stay here forever? Never return to the school?"

"Well, what do you think I should do?" roared James, finally losing it, losing the control he had been trying to contain ever since the tragic news was delivered. He spun around, and both boys glared at each other, neither backing down.

Suddenly, James faltered. His whole face fell, and his glare turned from menacing to pleading. "What should I do?" he almost whispered, and a single, small tear trailed down his cheek.

**Here I am, once again**

**I'm torn into pieces**

**Can't deny it, can't pretend**

**Just thought you were the one**

"She never appreciated what a great guy you are, James. She never appreciated what a thoughtful, caring, kind, loyal, brave person you really are. She never saw any of that." Sirius took a cautious step towards his best friend, so seemed to be stuck in that slumped, defeated position. "She doesn't deserve you."

"Is it her who doesn't deserve me, or is it me who doesn't deserve her?" his voice cracked at the last word. The tears were spilling uncontrollably now, and he fell to his knees, his hands stopping him from falling against the soft, muddy ground. His head was bent and his eyes were shut tight. He refused to look at anybody, acknowledge anybody, even his best friend who was standing no more than four feet away.

"I really thought she was the one, Sirius," he continued, his whole body shaking. "I worked six hard years to get her, and I still failed."

Thunder sounded all around them. The creatures had already scampered off to find shelter. The two boys just stayed there, one on his knees, begging, pleading with apparently no one, while the other stood there, watching his best friend in agony, wishing that he could just take away the pain from him, to watch him go on with that happy life he used to be so fond about.

"Why, Sirius?" James looked up, the tear stains apparent on his cheeks. "Why?"

It had started to rain.

**Broken up, deep inside**

**But you won't get to see the tears I cry**

**Behind these hazel eyes**

He lay on his bed, his eyes closed, his body clean and relaxed, but he still failed to fall asleep. The night was quiet, save for the occasional hooting of the owls and the rustling of the trees, but it was usually these few, minor sounds that would lullaby him to sleep. But now, he probably wouldn't be able to sleep even if he had taken an extra strong dreamless potion.

He punched his pillow angrily. He spent six years sleeping on this bed, his head on this pillow, thinking about Lily Evans, dreaming about her. The dreams were always the same: She sees how good they would be together, they snog and then they have a wedding in Hawaii. But now, even as thoughts of Lily Evans consumed his mind, he still failed to go into deep slumber.

He felt broken, like pieces of him were lying, scattered on the ground, and when he tried to pick them up, more and more just kept appearing in front of him. He could see, very clearly in his head, the day he found out about them.

Lily Evans.

Cheating on him.

With Amos Diggory.

Pictures flashed through his mind again, pictures of all those times James and Lily strolled in Hogsmade together, all those times he had tried to get her to learn how to fly, all those times when he would sneak in a kiss in between classes, and a picture... a picture of her and Amos Diggory.

He could hear her laugh now. Her high-pitched, melodious like giggle, with that beautiful smile James loved seeing on her face, and a tear rolled down his cheek. No longer would those laughs will be shared with him anymore. No longer will Lily smile that beautiful smile, because of him. She does not care about him anymore, this he knew. She no longer cared if he won or lost a Quidditch match, or if he was hurt, or if he cried. Hell, he could have died and it would have gone unnoticed to her, because she no longer cared.

_If only she could see me now, _James thought, as the last piece of him inside finally broke and he sobbed into his pillow, letting all his emotion out, not caring if his roommates could hear him or not.

**I told you everything**

**Opened up and let you in**

**You made me feel alright**

**For once in my life**

Lily remembered the time James told her about him being an animagus.

The memory, so clearly forged into her brain, replayed itself over and over again against her will as she stared at her bed hangings. She reached out to touch one, and it struck again.

_"Okay, Lily. Do you know all the times I said I won't be able to go to patrols because of Quidditch practice?" said James, pacing up and down in a circle, running his fingers frustratingly through his already disheveled hair._

_She nodded numbly. She didn't know where this was going; the only thing she knew was that she had got an urgent note from James, asking her to meet him in the boys' dormitories as soon as possible._

_"Well, I lied." Here, her eyes widened. She has never known James to lie before. Well, okay, he did it sometimes to get himself out of trouble, but it was so transparent you could practically see through it. McGonagall has never once believed any of his tales. _

_"It's not my fault! The giant squid grabbed on to me and handed me a dungbomb from the lake. Then he threw me at a tree, and I accidentally dropped the dungbomb at the impact! I'm completely innocent!" _

_A five-year-old could see through that._

_For a moment, Lily actually felt hurt. Why would he lie? To her, especially? What secret was so important he had to keep it from his girlfriend?_

But then, _she reminded herself, _he called you here to reveal that secret to you, which obviously means he trust you enough now.

_"Remus is a werewolf." This, Lily already knew. Snape had shared his theories with her, and though she kept insisting that they were ridiculous, she always knew that there was something funny with that Remus Lupin. This only proved it._

_"So what does that have to do with you and patrols," she asked. _

_James ran his fingers through his hair again and groaned in frustration. This secret, whatever it is, was big, Lily could tell. If it has James acting like this, it has to be something major._

_"We -Sirius and Peter and I," he started. "We...accompany him during his...transformation."_

_She stood up so suddenly she accidentally knocked a few things off the study table. "Are you crazy?" she all but screamed, and James begged for her to keep her voice down. "I'm surprised you haven't died yet," she continued to screech, ignoring his signs. "Do you know how dangerous it is for humans to be even twenty feet within werewolves!"_

_"That's just it," said James, looking at Lily fully in the eye. "When we accompany him, we're not human."_

_She scoffed. "What are you talking about, of course you're-"_

_And suddenly everything made sense._

_She slumped back onto the bed, dazed in her thoughts. "Wow." was the only thing she said, looking at James in a whole new way. "Really?"_

_He nodded. "Lily, you can't tell anyone. Swear."_

_"I swear." she was still in a daze. Then she looked back at him. "You actually trust me with this piece of information?"_

_He nodded. "Lily, there's no one I'd trust more than you."_

This was the line she remembered the most.

Every night, without fail, this line would repeat itself in her mind, like someone was right beside her, whispering it in her ear. Even now, as she glanced at her bed hangings, she could hear his voice echoing in the night, disrupting the silence of the night.

It wasn't the secret itself that affected her so badly. It was the fact that he trusted her with it, a secret that he has revealed to no one else except his mates, for three entire years, that made the butterflies in her stomach flutter about and for her to hang her head in shame.

He said he trusted her. Look where it's got him now.

_"I've been so cut up about this ever since you said yes to me, I didn't know what to do," he said. They both sat on the bed, her hand in his. He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I don't know what I'd do without you, Lily. I didn't want this secret to stand in between us."_

_She flung her arms around him. "Don't worry, James," she said. "I'll keep your secret safe. Your trust means more than anything to me."_

**Now all that's left of me**

**Is what I pretend to be**

**So together, but so broken up inside**

Transfiguration was taking place.

McGonagall had paired up the class into twos, so naturally she saw fit to put the Head Boy and the Head Girl together as a sign of unity. The class did a double-take at this news, and Sirius actually requested that James be paired up with him instead, but McGonagall's word is final.

So now they sat awkwardly beside each other, both staring pointlessly at the ferret they're supposed to be turning into a guinea pig.

"So..." of course it was Lily who started the conversation. Who else could it be? "How have you been?"

"Fine." was his only reply, short and curt. He focused mainly on their assignment, refusing to look at her or even turn to acknowledge her. Within minutes he had turned his ferret into a guinea pig, and he added rainbow colored highlights in the fur for effect. He smirked at his brilliant masterpiece.

Lily looked at the guinea pig affectionately. It was good to know that yesterday's...spat had not stopped him from topping the marks in Transfiguration. Or all the other subjects, for that matter. She, too, tried to turn the ferret into a guinea pig just like what James had done, but all she managed was to turn its fur bright purple.

"Here, you're doing it wrong," said James, trying not to laugh at Lily's fruitless attempt, but smiling all the same. He grasped Lily's hand in his and waved it. "You wave it a little to sharp. It's just a small little jab, like _this._" He moved her hand together with his, showing her the proper way to wave her wand.

Lily was suddenly very conscious of his left hand, that laid on her shoulder. She turned her head to look at him, and for a moment, everything disappeared, there was just the two of them there, in the empty classroom, trapped in each other's eyes.

James promptly let go of Lily's hand. "There. Try it," he said hastily, avoiding any sort of contact with her.

She suppressed a sigh and did it just the way he showed her. To her surprise, the ferret turned into a perfect guinea pig, ignoring the purple fur. McGonagall walked over to them and gave them an approving nod.

"Wonderful. Look at our head students, everybody. They've got it, although they could do without the colors..." at this, she pursed her lips.

James grinned. "Ah, but professor, it adds such a nice charm, I think it should be the new trend of Hogwarts! It would go so well with that hat you wear everyday."

"Brilliant suggestion, Potter. Are you planning on being a fashion designer?" The class erupted into laughter. James merely grinned cheekily.

"Oh dear, it seems I have been caught," he said dramatically. "Now professor, how would you like your robes? Hot pink or bright yellow?"

The laughter again. Lily merely smiled as she watched the two bicker back and forth. How did James do it, from being so horribly broken to becoming perfectly fine in just a few days? It disturbed her, annoyed her, even.

"Detention, Potter. Tonight, eight o'clock, my office. You two, Black. What will I ever do with you to?"

"Aw, come on, Minnie. We know you can't resist us."

But sometimes, she thinks it's for the best.

There will be less awkward questions. Less anger. Less quarrels. Less hexes. Less tears.

* * *

><p>James could feel her gaze on him, but he still refused to look at her. He knew, that if he looked at her, she would be able to tell that the smile didn't reach his eyes, or the black rings that came from lack of sleep. Maybe if she even looked closely enough, she would be able to tell that he was crying. He didn't want to reveal everything to her. He didn't want to reveal anything at all.<p>

Because the eyes are the windows to the soul.

Yes, she knows him that well.

**'Cause I can't breathe**

**No, I can't sleep****  
><strong>

**I'm barely hangin' on**

**Here I am, once again**

**I'm torn into pieces**

**Can't deny it, can't pretend**

**Just thought you were the one**

**Broken up, deep inside**

**But you won't get to see the tears I cry**

**Behind these hazel eyes**

He threw the rock into the lake, watching it make the water rise a little and making a small 'plop' sound when it came into contact with the water. He was alone, his homework spread all over the floor, three broken quills already forgotten, lying there on the grass. James sighed and threw another rock.

At the opposite side of the lake, he could tell Lily and Amos's figures and hear their laughs as they ran around, giggling like mad school-girls, but he didn't want to look over now. What was the point? It could only hurt him deeper.

"James, this has got to stop." Remus Lupin's voice came from behind him, and he didn't even have to look when he knew that Sirius and Peter were there with him too.

"Lily dating Amos isn't going to stop." That was the only thing he could say, the only reply he could think of. He tried to keep his mind blank, to stop it from straying back to a certain redhead, but his friends wouldn't hear of it.

"Prongs, it's been a week. You can't keep going on like this." This was Peter's voice. James was mildly surprised he actually had the guts to say that. Usually he'd just stay in a corner, nodding along to whatever Sirius and James were saying. Remus took a step forward to pack up the books that were on the grass, while James still refused stubbornly to turn around.

"Mate, spending large amounts of time brewing over these thoughts isn't going to help," came in Sirius's harsh voice. There was his voice, loud and truthful, honest and horribly rude.

James gritted his teeth together. None of them have ever felt like this. None of them have ever understood how deep his love ran for Lily Evans; they just expect him to let it _go, _just like that. He really wondered how.

"Look, I'll be in the dormitory in a moment, but right now I just want to be _alone_," said a very irritated James, his voice flat, deadpanned.

Sirius looked like he wanted to say something again, but he saw Remus shake his head and he scowled. "Come up soon," was all he said before he left with Peter and Remus right at his heels.

James sighed and stared at the water. Three months ago, him and Lily had been at this exact same spot, doing the exact same thing he was doing now. It was this very place where he confessed his love for her, it was this very place where she finally accepted it, it was this very place where they shared their first kiss, it was the very place they stayed for the whole night, just looking at the stars, laughing, giggling...

James stood up. He suddenly felt very violated, with all these people around the lake, surrounding him, suffocating him. He needed to be alone. He grabbed his bag and made his way to the Forbidden Forest.

**Swallow me then spit me out**

**For hating you, I blame myself**

He was sick of putting on this facade, this aloof image that acted like as if he couldn't care less whether Lily and him had broken up or not. For once, he just wanted to break apart, let someone else put the pieces back together, and he didn't care who saw them. But he couldn't. Because he was James Potter.

He wanted to strangle himself. Why was he torturing himself like this? It's been a week, just like Remus said, and he can't keep going on like this forever. But he couldn't help it. Something was eating him inside, gnawing away, and he lacked the energy to do anything else. He hated feeling this way, He hated it, hated it, hated it to the core.

And it was all because of a certain redhead.

Of course, he couldn't really blame her for this. It was him who had decided to ruin things for himself, after all. He could have just as easily left everything the way if was, and not care a bit. But he can't. He didn't know why. He just can't.

And it killed him.

She played a part in this, for sure. She had hurt him beyond a level anyone had thought possible, but he didn't hate her. He could never hate her.

_Even after all she's done to you? _said a voice in his head. _Do you truly think you don't hate her? Not even a little bit? After all, it was she who used you like a chew toy, having her fun with you then tossing you away into the trash like some handkerchief, expecting you to clean yourself. She couldn't care less about you. She used you._

It's true, everything his head told him was true.

But then he thought of her beautiful shaped-green eyes and her long, fiery red hair. He thought of her soft, sweet lips that tasted strangely of cherries. He thought of her laugh, her sweet laugh that sounded like a soft wind chime during a wind, completely enrapturing him.

Could he really bring himself to hate her?

No, he could not.

**Seeing you it kills me now**

**No, I don't cry on the outside**

**Anymore**

He almost laughed at his pathetic self. In fact, he screamed out loud, screamed to the heavens, not caring who or what heard him. He had allowed this situation to get so out of hand, out of his grasp. He allowed himself to be hit by the knives she was throwing at him, he wasn't even doing anything to stop them! Was he really a masochist? Did he really have nothing else better to do?

His eyes landed on a lily, a beautiful pink and white flower just poking from in between to very large trees. To everyone else, it just seemed like an ordinary plant; but to him, it was beautiful. It stood there, strong and powerful, just radiating beauty, not affected by the ugly surroundings around it. The forest was a cold and dark (and usually dangerous) place, but the lily seemed to emit out light, like the forest's own personal shining sun. It sickened him to the core.

And that's when James told himself- no more crying. Not anymore.

He was sick of seeing small like like this -and being a lily too, how ironic- beat him in his own area of expertise. Even that's stupid _flower, _just standing there, doing nothing, seemed extraordinary. Or maybe it was just him. He was overly excited when he saw something related to his ex-girlfriend, anyway. Now, he was determined to get his head back in the game, to get himself on the right track.

Before this, he was just an empty shell, living in the shadows, looking like a little kid that wouldn't come out from behind mommy because he was too afraid. Now, he was ready to take the chance again. He was really to be a man. So what if Lily Evans didn't like him? Screw her- this is reality. He's going to have to face it soon enough, and he's definitely going to learn about it every chance he got.

True, he will never forget about her, and he will always love her, but she was just a fantasy, a dream when he wanted to get away. Right now, it was time to bring himself back.

He looked up, staring at the trees and the path ahead and smiled.

James Potter was back.

**Here I am, once again**

**I'm torn into pieces**

**Can't deny it, can't pretend**

**Just thought you were the one**

**Broken up, deep inside**

**But you won't get to see the tears I cry**

**Behind these hazel eyes**

"Are you okay, love?"

"Mm hmm..."

It was really a beautiful day out, she thought, as she lay her head on his shoulder. They watched as the sun shone on the lake, giving it a sparkly glow. Amos put an arm around her waist awkwardly, twisting and turning, trying to find a proper position, before giving up and settling on holding her hand instead.

Lily sighed. He never knew how to hold her. They were going great, and they were strong, but he never could do things right with her. They would always be awkwardly trying to find something both could compromise to, but they would just give up and go to the library to study. Everyday, it was the same process, and everyday, Lily would leave the library, thinking of James.

She couldn't help but remember the way James would smile at her so dearly it would make her insides twist together in a knot, or the way he would whine playfully until she gave in on what he wanted to do (in a cute way, of course). And then, there were also the times when he went along with whatever she said, for her sake, and she remembered perfectly how well her hand fit in his...

She pushed away those thoughts. She was with Amos now, not James.

And then, speak of the devil, she saw him, sitting there, throwing pebbles into the water for no apparent reason. She saw his friends approach him, and then she saw him as he chased them away. Suddenly, he stood up, grabbed his things, and left in the opposite direction, all avoiding looking at her, although she knew very well that he knew she was there.

Amos knew too, because she saw his eyes sparkle with delight. "Did you see the look on Potter's face? Brilliant!"

She smiled weakly, although she was not feeling amused not victorious. She never wanted to get back at James for anything, after all.

"So..." she started. "What do you want to do later?"

At this, he shifted uncomfortably. "Uh, love, I'm sorry, I'm meeting up with the guys later," he said, although he didn't sound very sorry at all. In fact, he sounded a little relieved to be rid of her, in Lily's opinion.

But she pushed that away, too. It had to be her imagination, surely. "That's okay," she said quickly. "We can do something tomorrow-"

"Oh, I'm busy tomorrow, too," he replied just as quickly.

She narrowed her eyes. "What about Friday, then?"

"I have to finish my potions essay, sorry," he said again.

"I could help you on your potions essay." Why did he insist on avoiding her all the time?

"You really don't have to."

"No, it's fine. In fact, I insist."

"I really shouldn't."

And that's when she knew.

She could see it in his body language, see it in the change of his eyes. He never really loved her. Never really wanted her, even. It was all just a facade.

All of this was just a plan to get back at James. She could see it now. She cursed herself silently for being so stupid. All those times in those secluded corridors, with that sexy, seducing voice that Lily's heart couldn't help but melt at... oh god. She was stupid.

The whole school knew that James and Amos were enemies. James had even complained about it to her once or twice. He was an annoying, big-headed prat, according to him. Lily used to laugh at the irony. So why hadn't she found it strange when she had Amos coming on to her? Why was she so blind?

She loved James, she could see that now. Everything that Amos had clouded from her mind had cleared again, and she could see her path very clearly now. Get rid of Amos, apologize to James, and find some way to patch up their relationship again. She stood up and snarled, "Get off."

Amos looked surprised at her antics. "Lils, is there anything wrong?"

"Shut up," she snapped. "I can't believe I actually believed you, you and your stupid bag of tricks. I'm just a prize now, aren't I? Or am I just trash waiting to be thrown away? What am I, huh Amos? What am I?"

He stared at her, speechless. His mouth was hanging open, making him look like a very unattractive fish.

"We're done," she said shortly. "Don't come looking for me in the future unless you want a one-way trip into the black lake with the giant squid."

And with that, she walked off. Her path was clearer than she had ever seen, and now she only had one quest in mind:

Find James.

**Here I am, once again**

**I'm torn into pieces**

**Can't deny it, can't pretend**

**Just thought you were the one**

**Broken up, deep inside**

**But you won't get to see the tears I cry**

**Behind these hazel eyes**

Both James and Lily slept somewhat peacefully that night, both with new resolutions made:

_"I shall patch things up with James no matter what the cost."_

_"I shall never, ever speak to Lily Evans again."_

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Please tell me it didn't suck.**

**So yeah, I just left you guys there like that. Oh, how could I be so cruel? Don't worry, guys, I'm coming out with a sequel, as soon as I find the appropriate song. If you have a suggestion, you can put it in the review box or you can PM me :)**

**So for those who didn't catch the story line, this is what happened:**

**James is still broken from the day he found out that Lily has been cheating on him with Amos Diggory, and he still isn't better, even after a week. His friends get a little sick of his attitude and try to bring the old James back, but he just wants to be left alone. Lily is with Amos after finally clearing things up with James, but she can't help but compare Amos to everything James and her have done. Then, finally, James feels he's had enough. He walks out of the Forbidden Forest, with a new resolution; Lily sees the real Amos Diggory, and found out that he only used her to get back at James, to win for once, so she leaves him with a new resolution. However, their resolutions seem to clash, so what will they do?**

**Wait for the sequel to find out!**

**Yeah, I know it's a bit strange, and not a lot of us see Lily as the bad person. But I wanted to see her in the wrong, for once. I mean, she's not an angel, she makes mistakes too, and she messed up big this time. Hence, this songfic.**

**SOO, uh...REVIEW! Reviews always make me happy! Oh, and please excuse me if it seems a little rushed. I did this at three in the morning. In fact, I should be getting some sleep now. Night guys.**

**REVIEW! They're better than sleep. And _nothing _is better than sleep.**


	2. SEQUEL UP! author's note

**HEY GUYS.**

**Wow, it's been a long time, hasn't it?**

**So I've finally finished the sequel! FINALLY. God, it took me so long to finish. I'm sorry. I suck. I know. I'm already two months late. I deserve to die in a bucket of frog spawn. BUT before you kill me, can you AT LEAST read the sequel first and tell me what you think? PLEASE?**

**It's called 'Better Than Me' and it can be found on my profile. At least, it can if ffnet didn't screw up. But yeah, it's DONE. FINALLY.**

**So please REVIEW and tell me what you think! I'd love to hear from you! Especially after so long...**

**And if you guys don't kill me after this, you guys are angels from heaven. Seriously. Only them could put up with someone like me.**

**xxWobblyJelly :DD**


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